read this

juz read this on the Straits Times interactive.. hah my sentiments exactly... except that my weekends arent as free as hers, it's juz tt i'm procrastinating...

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Another wasted Sunday
There are so many things I feel I must accomplish every weekend that I end up feeling frustrated and doing nothing in the end
By Sumiko Tan

I'M writing this column at noon on a Sunday.

As usual, the hours are flying past, the weekend is going to be over soon, yet I'm still in my pajamas and in a quandary over how I'm going to make the best of the day.

I'm really frustrated.

On normal days - that is, weekdays - I'm a fairly organised person. In fact, some might call me task-oriented.

I know exactly what I have to accomplish and I divide my time accordingly.

I love making to-do lists, and enjoy slicing up the hours of a day so that I can allot an activity to each segment. No angst involved. I don't waste time.

On weekends, I fall apart.

There are just so many leisure activities I feel I must catch up on that I end up in a jittery state of limbo, pacing up and down trying to decide on which one to do in a race against time - and succeeding in doing nothing.

And, when I embark on anything, I always wonder if I would have been better off doing something else.

Last weekend was another exercise in futility.

First off, I knew I had to catch up on sleep. How I long for one of those warm afternoon naps during which I fall into such deep slumber it feels as if I were drowning.

But if I wanted to sleep, it would be hard to squeeze time to watch a movie.

And if I did catch a movie, or two, what about the mountain of magazines that has been accumulating by my bed for months, a baleful reminder of my weekend sloth?

(Let's not even talk about books. I've not finished a book since, oh, I shudder to think when.)

But if I were to read, where would I find time to watch TV or the DVDs my colleagues have lent me?

And if my time was spent in front of the small screen, am I being fair to my three dogs, all in need of some of my time and attention?

And what about the friends I've been neglecting?

Or maybe I should play the dutiful daughter and ferry my mother to the supermarket?

But, no, perhaps I should try the new restaurants in town.

Then again, should I check out the many sales to bag some bargains? Or catch a performance at the Esplanade?

Go to HMV to stock up on new CDs? Surf the Internet? Go for a massage? A hair cut? A manicure? Wash my car?

And surely this must be the weekend I start exercising again?

But if I were to go swimming in the morning, it would mean getting up early, and did I want to sacrifice my sleep?

And if I were to go for a run in the evening, did I want to miss the Sunday movies on TV?

So here's what I did last weekend:

On Saturday, I woke up at 9, read the papers, spent 10am to 1pm logged on to the office computer, and then had lunch.

The afternoon was spent in a fitful state flitting between TV channels and wondering why I wasn't having a more productive, rewarding weekend.

I had dinner with my mother at a new restaurant (an accomplishment as it married two tasks - trying out someplace new and spending time with her), came home and watched TV till 1am.

On Sunday, I woke up at 8 and read the papers.

I wasted brain cells trying to decide if I should catch American Pie: The Wedding at 2.10pm followed by Kill Bill at 4.20. But if I did that, I would not be able to fit in the nap and exercise.

I logged on to the office computer at 10am.

And here I am. It's now 1.30pm and I'm still in front of my computer screen, writing this column.

It occurs to me: Have I forgotten how to have fun?

Have I grown fearful of leisure? Am I comfortable only when I'm logged on to the office computer?

Have I become what some sociologists term 'leisure illiterate'?

THE only time I really know how to chill is when I go abroad on a holiday.

Being physically away from work, I have no choice but to immerse myself in having fun.

I always come home refreshed and energised.

So, if having downtime for myself is beneficial, why can't I recreate this experience on weekends?

There are three interlocking reasons: guilt, office hangover, and greed.

My inability to relax has a bit to do with guilt.

Perhaps a reflection of the Singapore ethic (you can only amount to something if you study/work hard), leisure is seen as a bit of a waste of time.

Between staying back in the office to finish an assignment and going out for drinks, we all know what we should do.

Which is why, come weekends, some of us feel a sense of dislocation.

It's the office hangover effect - a combination of mental exhaustion from the previous week and leftover adrenalin that seems weird being poured into tasks like getting a manicure.

But the biggest cause of my wasted weekends is probably greed.

Faced with such a Baskin-Robbins array of activities, I want it all and I want it now. Which is not possible.

But I've decided that I've had it with unfulfilling weekends.

In fact, I've drawn up a plan that will allow me to take a more disciplined approach to leisure (an oxymoron, I know).

Instead of trying to cramp everything, I'll settle for one-theme weekends.

For example, one weekend will be devoted to books (not even magazines), another to exercising, a third to watching nothing but DVDs, and so on.

It sounds workable and I will embark on it this weekend.

Right now, it's 3pm already and, what do you know, the weekend is almost gone.

I shall sign off the computer, take a shower and have a nap.

But, no, maybe not a nap. There's time to catch Kill Bill if I hurry.

Or should I bathe my dogs? Call up a friend and arrange to have tea? Watch a DVD or...

Oh, I give up.

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btw, i still can't shake off the Mayday concert...been blasting their songs on winamp. I WANT A ROCKER BOYFRIEND !!!

muahahaha